> >This is for the over 50 generation:
> >
> >I thought about the 30 year business I ran with 1800 employees, all
> >without a Blackberry that played music, took videos, pictures and
> >communicated with Facebook and Twitter.
> >
> >I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids,
> >their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate
> >with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple
> >as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.
> >
> >That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree,
> >Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and
> >something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other
> >program within the texting world.
> >
> >My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of every thing
> >except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready
> >to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.
> >
> >The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get
> >lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I
> >keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red]
> >phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing
> >in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife as everyone in the
> >nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. Seems I have to take my hearing aid
> >out to use it,
> >and I got a little loud.
> >
> >I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside
> >was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time.
> >Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating". You
> >would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely
> >tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make
> >a U-tur n at the next light. Then when I would make a right turn
> >instead, it was not good.
> >
> >When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the
> >cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as
> >Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.
> >
> >To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the
> >cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still
> >haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run
> >around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty
> >laundry baskets when the phone rings.
> >
> >The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every
> >time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on
> >something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I
> >check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth
> >reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take
> >them in with me.
> >
> >Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just
> >say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to
> >stare at me with a blank look.
> >
> >I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a lot."
> >
> >PS
> >I know some of you are not over 50; I sent it to you to allow you to
> >forward it to those who are.
