WHY'S OF MEN

Why's  of Men 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME  SMARTER DURING SEX    (because they are plugged into a genius)   ---------------------------------------------- 2.  WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?         (they don't have enough time) -----------------------------------------------    3. WHY DOES IT  TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?   (they  don't stop to ask directions) -----------------------------------------------   4. WHY DO  MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? (because their balls  fall over their butt-hole and they  vapor  lock) -----------------------------------------------   (You're laughing, aren't  you?!?!) -----------------------------------------------   5. WHY WERE  MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?    (so they  won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)   ----------------------------------------------    6. WHY DID GOD  MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? (you need a rough draft  before you make a final copy) -----------------------------------------------    7. HOW MANY MEN  DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? (don't  know.....it never happened) -----------------------------------------------      ( C'mon  guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!) -----------------------------------------------   And  the personal favorite:     8. WHY DID GOD PUT  MEN ON EARTH?   (because a  vibrator can't mow the lawn) -----------------------------------------------   Remember,  if you haven't got a smile on your face  and  laughter  in your heart...Then  you are just an old sour fart! -----------------------------------------------   One  day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt  seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,   'What  setting do I use on the washing machine?'   'It  depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your  shirt?' He  yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma ..'   And  they say blondes are dumb... ---------------------------------------------   A  couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the  happiest woman in the world.'   The  woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'   -----------------------------------------------   'It's  just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of  the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I  mowed the lawn like this?'   'Probably  that I married you for your money,' she  replied.   -----------------------------------------------   Q:  What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive  man?   A:  A rumor   -------  ---------------------------------------   Dear  Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him;  And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,  I'll beat him to death.  AMEN   ----------------------------------------------   Q:  Why do little boys whine?   A:  They are practicing to be men.   ----------------------------------------------   Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for  breath and calling your name?   A:  You did not hold the pillow down long  enough.   ----------------------------------------------   Q:  How do you keep your husband from reading your  e-mail?   A:  Rename the mail folder 'Instruction  Manual.'   -------------------- Life  may not be the party you hoped for... but while you are here, you  may as well dance!