* **A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two
drops of water.*
*As the bartender gives her the drink she says, **
**"I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.." **
**The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a
drink. In fact,*
*This one is on me" **
**As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says,*
*"I would like to buy you a drink, too." **
**The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a*
*Scotch with two drops of water." **
**"Coming up," says the bartender. **
**As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says,*
*"I would like to buy you one, too." **
**The old woman says,*
*"Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water." **
**"Coming right up," the bartender says. **
**As he gives he r the drink, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity.*
*Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?" **
**The old woman replies,** **
**"Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor.*
*Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue." **
**
**"OLD" IS WHEN** ... Your sweetie says, " Let's go upstairs and make
love," and*
*You answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!" **
**
**"OLD " IS WHEN **... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator
shoes*
*And you're barefoot. **
**
**"OLD" IS WHEN** ... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker
opens*
*The garage door.**
**
**"OLD" IS WHEN** ... Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your
face. **
**
**"OLD" IS WHEN** .. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long*
*As you don't have to go along. **
**
**"OLD" IS WHEN** ... You are cautioned to slo w down by the doctor
instead of*
*By the police. **
**
**"OLD" IS WHEN** .."Getting a little action" means you don't need to take*
*Any fiber today**
**
**"OLD" IS WHEN** ... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the
parking lot. **
**
**"OLD" IS WHEN** ... An "all nighter" means not getting up to use the
bathroom. **
**AN D** **
**
**"OLD" IS WHEN** ... You are not sure these are jokes.*
drops of water.*
*As the bartender gives her the drink she says, **
**"I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.." **
**The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a
drink. In fact,*
*This one is on me" **
**As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says,*
*"I would like to buy you a drink, too." **
**The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a*
*Scotch with two drops of water." **
**"Coming up," says the bartender. **
**As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says,*
*"I would like to buy you one, too." **
**The old woman says,*
*"Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water." **
**"Coming right up," the bartender says. **
**As he gives he r the drink, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity.*
*Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?" **
**The old woman replies,** **
**"Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor.*
*Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue." **
**
**"OLD" IS WHEN** ... Your sweetie says, " Let's go upstairs and make
love," and*
*You answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!" **
**
**"OLD " IS WHEN **... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator
shoes*
*And you're barefoot. **
**
**"OLD" IS WHEN** ... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker
opens*
*The garage door.**
**
**"OLD" IS WHEN** ... Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your
face. **
**
**"OLD" IS WHEN** .. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long*
*As you don't have to go along. **
**
**"OLD" IS WHEN** ... You are cautioned to slo w down by the doctor
instead of*
*By the police. **
**
**"OLD" IS WHEN** .."Getting a little action" means you don't need to take*
*Any fiber today**
**
**"OLD" IS WHEN** ... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the
parking lot. **
**
**"OLD" IS WHEN** ... An "all nighter" means not getting up to use the
bathroom. **
**AN D** **
**
**"OLD" IS WHEN** ... You are not sure these are jokes.*
